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The Power of 'Hello'.
Sitting in Miami Airport on a georgeous Memorial Day week end at 2:30 pm, It was a Friday afternoon, I just landed and I was waiting around for the rest of my crew to collect their bags. I was pumped, the airport was buzzing with activity as I walked to the bar to get myself a Sam Adams. I paid for my beer and settled near the door to get a clear view of the door leading from the baggage claim area. I felt a presence near me and I looked up only to see two of the most attractive females trying to read the inscription on my shirt, I smiled and obliged them. We chatted for casually for a few minutes; coincidentally they had been on the same flight from NY to Miami, they disclosed to me where they were staying and invited me and my group to join them at some point during the week-end, which I politely promised I would do. My friends arrived at about the same time the girls took leave, of course they wanted to know where I knew these girls from, I expalined that they had just materialized out of thin air and engaged me in conversation. Later that evening we ended up at a party on the beach, the Techno music was loud and the crowd was having a great time, as I was making my way through, I was being tugged at by several miscellaneous young women, I was amused, flattered and somewhat puzzled. That same night at another party, I was standing with my crew in a hip-hop R&B setting and another pair of young women walked up to me and voluntarily introduced themselves to me, I was gracious and chatted lightly with them in between dancing, sipping on my drink and trying to remember which side of the bed I got up on that morning. The last encounter left me wondering why I was being singled out by these various women all day. Had Miami changed that much since I was last here.
Up until now I have deliberately left out the fact that none of these these ladies were African American; white, chinese and what seemed to be mixed heritage. As I remember, I encountered a majority of African American women that day and the behavior was quite different; the "sisters" generally seemed to react the same way they did back in NY, they looked me up and down with no discernable expression and definitely no friendly hello. It occured to me that this very distinct socio-cultural divide between us (African American People) and the other races may be at the core of the man-shortage that some African American women experience.
Whatever happened to "Hello"?.
Why do some African American women find it so hard to say "Hello"
"Hello" doesn't mean;
"I want you, ..or come jump my bones, ..or I am desperate, ..or I have low self esteem, ..or you are the one, ..or come marry me."
"Hello" means:
Hi, ..or I'm feeling good hope you are too, ..or I am curious about you, ..you interest me, ..or you smell nice.
It is not a marriage proposal.
I believe that the ability to say hello comes from within, it starts with you giving to your world what you desire from your world. If you want to receive love and affection from your surroundings, you have to be loving and affectionate to your world first. Practice makes perfect; practicing to be amiable and approachable is a skill that needs to be high on the lists of must do's. The ability to engage a person of the opposite sex in casual pleasant converstion is as necessary as air. If African American women are going to help themselves in their own mission to find suitable men they must invent a starting point; a neutral platform where they can feel comfortable to launch an opening conversation. It will take time to unlearn the Defensive skills that has been engrained over generations. You must learn the simplest of Offensive skills: "Hello". It won't be easy but nothing worthwhile ever is. What do you think?
Michael Eric Markland
Author of
"Why The Hell Cant I Find A Good Man? (from a man's point of view)"
Email: michaelericmarkland@yahoo.com
Website: http://michaelericmarkland.com/preorder.htm
Book: http://www.amazon.com/Why-Hell-Cant-Find-Good/dp/1439250995/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1254433538&sr=1-1
Sitting in Miami Airport on a georgeous Memorial Day week end at 2:30 pm, It was a Friday afternoon, I just landed and I was waiting around for the rest of my crew to collect their bags. I was pumped, the airport was buzzing with activity as I walked to the bar to get myself a Sam Adams. I paid for my beer and settled near the door to get a clear view of the door leading from the baggage claim area. I felt a presence near me and I looked up only to see two of the most attractive females trying to read the inscription on my shirt, I smiled and obliged them. We chatted for casually for a few minutes; coincidentally they had been on the same flight from NY to Miami, they disclosed to me where they were staying and invited me and my group to join them at some point during the week-end, which I politely promised I would do. My friends arrived at about the same time the girls took leave, of course they wanted to know where I knew these girls from, I expalined that they had just materialized out of thin air and engaged me in conversation. Later that evening we ended up at a party on the beach, the Techno music was loud and the crowd was having a great time, as I was making my way through, I was being tugged at by several miscellaneous young women, I was amused, flattered and somewhat puzzled. That same night at another party, I was standing with my crew in a hip-hop R&B setting and another pair of young women walked up to me and voluntarily introduced themselves to me, I was gracious and chatted lightly with them in between dancing, sipping on my drink and trying to remember which side of the bed I got up on that morning. The last encounter left me wondering why I was being singled out by these various women all day. Had Miami changed that much since I was last here.
Up until now I have deliberately left out the fact that none of these these ladies were African American; white, chinese and what seemed to be mixed heritage. As I remember, I encountered a majority of African American women that day and the behavior was quite different; the "sisters" generally seemed to react the same way they did back in NY, they looked me up and down with no discernable expression and definitely no friendly hello. It occured to me that this very distinct socio-cultural divide between us (African American People) and the other races may be at the core of the man-shortage that some African American women experience.
Whatever happened to "Hello"?.
Why do some African American women find it so hard to say "Hello"
"Hello" doesn't mean;
"I want you, ..or come jump my bones, ..or I am desperate, ..or I have low self esteem, ..or you are the one, ..or come marry me."
"Hello" means:
Hi, ..or I'm feeling good hope you are too, ..or I am curious about you, ..you interest me, ..or you smell nice.
It is not a marriage proposal.
I believe that the ability to say hello comes from within, it starts with you giving to your world what you desire from your world. If you want to receive love and affection from your surroundings, you have to be loving and affectionate to your world first. Practice makes perfect; practicing to be amiable and approachable is a skill that needs to be high on the lists of must do's. The ability to engage a person of the opposite sex in casual pleasant converstion is as necessary as air. If African American women are going to help themselves in their own mission to find suitable men they must invent a starting point; a neutral platform where they can feel comfortable to launch an opening conversation. It will take time to unlearn the Defensive skills that has been engrained over generations. You must learn the simplest of Offensive skills: "Hello". It won't be easy but nothing worthwhile ever is. What do you think?
Michael Eric Markland
Author of
"Why The Hell Cant I Find A Good Man? (from a man's point of view)"
Email: michaelericmarkland@yahoo.com
Website: http://michaelericmarkland.com/preorder.htm
Book: http://www.amazon.com/Why-Hell-Cant-Find-Good/dp/1439250995/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1254433538&sr=1-1
Mental note taken! It's so true. I know I'm guilty of giving the "stank" face at times, and it is certainly a bad habit. I've been working on replacing it with a smile, and now adding on a "hello" will be my next step.
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