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We Have The Best Time Together, But Why Doesn't He Call Me After Our Dates?
A frustrated female blogger "TT" posed this question in a chat; "I have been dating this guy for about 10 weeks and everything is going well, we vibe really well and we and have a good time together whenever we go out to the movies, dinner and bowling. At the Boy's To Men concert we really had a blast, but the next day he didn't call, and the day after that, I wanted to call him but I just knew he was going to call so I didn't, as a matter of fact it was 3 days later before I heard from him. He called as if nothing had happened and never made mention of the fact that he had been MIA for 3 whole days. By then I was confused and a little angry, I know I probably have no right to be angry, I tried to act normal and I probably pulled it off but I want to know what that is about? and how should I deal with it? I am not built like that, I need to hear from my man on a regular basis, I like this guy but I am confused. Why do guys do that?
Well first mistake; 10 weeks into the hook-up and "TT" is subliminally programmed to thinking, therefore referring to him as "my man". She is feeling insecure and needs to be reinforced by her new dating partner; nothing wrong there, but does a handful of dates make a "date" your man? and the language; MIA sounds more like AWOL. Sound clingy to you?
This is that stage of the relationship where men are extremely careful about their language and their behavior; it is critical that you listen carefully and make mental notes also pay extreme attention to their actions.
There are 3 KINDS OF MEN
THE HITMAN: He wants to hit it as soon as possible so he pulls out all the stops, he will say and do anything you need him to say or do, he is agreeable to any terms you suggest except any that will stop him from accomplishing his objective. He only intention is to persuade you to go along with his agenda in any way possible. This one is easy to see through his story is usually all fabricated to suit his opinion of you. if you are needy he will be extremely attentive and patient, any information he can glean from your words or actions will become ammunition to use against you to accomplish his short term goal. Be patient with all men and mostly with yourself, their true character will eventually play out for you to see.
THE USER: He is looking to get involved in a short term , stop gap relationship with you; something that he can wiggle out of as soon as he is tired it or you; his language is usually much more diplomatic and slippery. He might seem to be the the most honest of the 3 because he is willing to disclose that he is dating other people and he wants to be "open and honest": this one is planning to use you and discard you when he becomes tired or distracted by something more attractive or interesting. Be careful, sometimes this guy will seem like he has long term intentions but he is not planning to stick around for more than 6 months to year or for as long as it takes for you to start asking for a commitment. The language he uses is usually loaded with "escape clauses"; clauses filled with ways to get out of the relationship backdoor or front door, and if you fall for them, he will surely use them when the time comes for him to exit. " I don't want to get into anything serious right now", "I am just getting out of a bad relationship and I want to take my time", "Let's keep dating other people until we are sure of where we want to take this relationship" "I work a lot and my job sometimes take me out of town and that was a big problem in my last relationship we had space issues, I hope we won't have that problem because I really like you a lot". When a man is genuinely interested in a woman as a long term prospect he is erratic and usually overcome with anxiety about her whereabouts when he can't be with her, there is no possibility of him encouraging her to date another man while he sits home and wonders if she is getting it on. On the other hand if he just wants to get some play time without getting stuck with the tab or reputation of being her man then surely he can stomach her being some other man's responsibility. Pay attention, Seems like Mr. Fun is playing "TT" wide; in other words he is making sure that she doesn't do exactly what she is doing now: which is trying to play him too close. By not calling her too often he frustrates her early on in the relationship and gets her properly trained in keeping her distance and not becoming too dependent on his presence, it seems like he is giving her a deliberate taste of what's to come, while smiling and playing Mr. Fun-guy. He may truly like her company but he intends for her to play a limited role in his game plan, he will reach out to her when he is ready for her to play that role.
THE MAN: Not much is there to be said about the man who is "stricken" by a woman who he believes could be "the One": he is a walking bag of nerves. She can wrap him around pinky or thumb or wear him like a glove. His language is similar to the "One Night bandit" but the difference is he is willing to prove his Metal and he will allow you to put him through the necessary steps to qualify him and validate his words as his true intentions. He is open to scrutiny and full disclosure. He will be anxious for you to meet the important significant people in his life: his parents, his kids, his true friends. He is gold, but gold is made pure by purging it with fire. Don't be afraid ask the tough questions and demand validation. Resist the urges and bad habits that didn't work in your last relationships, if not, you will repeat the same stages in your life until you learn the lessons that your experiences are meant to teach you.
Resist being clingy.
Stay within your comfort zone, ask tough necessary questions early in the dating stages.
Never make yourself an easy target.
Don't play hard to get, BE hard to get.
Declare an alternate agenda other than your need for a man: something that demonstrates you are on an existing path to elevate the quality of your life.
Reference topics that sell you as the "long term" girl; education, home, family, travel, spirituality.
Be about what you want in your life.
Attract him by being worthy.
Never make yourself an easy target.
Don't play hard to get, BE hard to get.
Declare an alternate agenda other than your need for a man: something that demonstrates you are on an existing path to elevate the quality of your life.
Reference topics that sell you as the "long term" girl; education, home, family, travel, spirituality.
Be about what you want in your life.
Attract him by being worthy.
Pick My Book and learn more about The men you desire."Why The Hell Cant I Find A Good Man? from a man's point of view at
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